Catching the signal from one of her friends, Angela brushed her skirt, took a deep breath and walked towards where he was sitting. “I never meant to hurt you, you know, ”she said as she leaned towards his lunch table. “How can I make this up to you?” Her long blonde hair curled at the ends and her baby blue eyes twinkled like stars. As much as he hated her he could never let her go. She was a part of him. Darren glared at her for a few seconds, which seemed like forever to Angela.He stared into her eyes and remembered the first time he ever saw her. She was at the park, playing football with all the guys. If she fell or got trampled she would always get right back up. She was a soldier, never backing down or quitting, until she got what she wanted. His insides were a volcano, ready to erupt. He realized he shouldn’t follow his heart this time. “What you did is unforgivable. It’s just too late to apologize.”Angela’s mouth quivered, she always thought she was irresistible. She ran to the bathroom and nearly drowned in her tears. It’s really over, she realized.
The story was sad. I liked how you described how Angela looked. I liked the simile you used when you said that her eyes twinkled like stars. I also liked the metaphor when you said "she was a soldier" and then you explained why she was a soldier.
ReplyDeleteThis was really sad, I think a lot of people could relate to parts of it such as, "He knew he couldn't follow his heart this time." I also thought it was creative when you said, "She ran to the bathroom and nearly drowned in her tears." VERY descriptive. You can just imagine her trying to get him back by "seducing" him with her blue eyes and smile, him being tortured, but then turning her down and her ego and heart shattering as she ran into the bathroom.
ReplyDeleteHi Illiana,
ReplyDeleteI really liked all of the description you added into your piece. I liked the part when you described her hair and her eyes because is gave me an image in my head of what she looked like. Your whole story was really sad and it made me think of the scene she was placed in and how the scenario took place. Great job.
Taylor
I absolutely loved how both characters emotions truly showed. It made the images that more vivid and grungy.
ReplyDelete